I hate it when ________ happens!

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So, perhaps I’m just not having the ‘Best Week Ever’ or perhaps it’s the simple fact that when I logged onto facebook today I noticed that 399 of my 408 friends have “snow days!!” A snow day? Are we in 5th grade again? They are enjoying themselves doing absolutely nothing in their pajamas while I am slaving away at work. Not to mention that I made the long walk in the snow, sleet, rain just to get here and now look like I just returned from a war zone (guess it was a waste of time to straighten my hair this morning)!! I hate it when that happens. I am so extremely, ridiculously jealous of my friends who are watching reruns of 90210 while lounging on their couches at home. Why does everyone get a snow day but me??? So I thought it would only be appropriate on this day of sorrow (at least for moi) to share with you my top 11

“I hate it when ______ happens” moments….

11. When you are late to work and you hear the train in the station so you run down the stairs and just as you are swiping your metro card you hear that ‘ding ding’ and the doors close. You just missed it! Suddenly then you realize it will be another 10 minutes of waiting. Weekends are especially brutal.

10. When kids go under the subway turnstiles and don’t pay! Then to make matters worse they take the last seat on the train! OR you are expected to get up and give them your seat when you paid your $2!! I can pass for a kid, perhaps I should try this technique…. Jerks! I don’t care if you are 4 years old! Cough up the 2 bucks!! :)

9. When you DVR your favorite tv show and finally sit down to relax and watch it then all of a sudden the recording stops and you miss the last couple minutes! (Needless to say, I’ve had to start recording the show after Gossip Girls to ensure this would never happen again, it’s unacceptable!)

8. When you get to the laundry-mat 2 minutes late and someone is already pulling your clothes out of the dryer whether they are dry or not. Don’t worry I have indeed witnessed 2 extreme fights at Jiffy Jeff’s and it’s not pretty, I just run and hide in a corner not gonna lie. You think the OC Housewives are crazy, that’s nothing! The Queens housewives are vicious (perhaps Bravo should tape them next!).

7. When you are in the airport security line and you happen to choose the line that isn’t moving because no one was prepared. They “forgot” to take their laptops out of their bags, forgot to take their shoes off, forgot that they have to show their boarding passes and just laugh it off…. in no hurry at all. HATE that! Morons.

6. When you finally get enough motivation to hit the gym and then end up waiting 15 minutes for a machine and loose all motivation so you just leave. Well, I did go… that’s gotta count for something, right? What happened to the saying, “It’s the thought that counts.”

5. When guys see the celebrities in the magazines and drool over how ‘hot’ they are but little do they realize these women (well majority) don’t look like that in real life. I mean I wish I was air brushed in every photo (which I do attempt to do with my addiction to spray tanning but c’mon!). I wish I had a makeup artist and hair stylist every morning! Geez!! And furthermore, if I didn’t have to work all day and could afford a trainer I’d be a size 00 too, I mean honestly celebrities really have no reason to be fat at all… I’ll stop myself now, we’ll save that for another blog ;)

4. When someone emails you the dumbest question, for example (work related) when someone asks what the address and phone number is to the hotel where their boss is staying… So I simply reply, “Not sure off the top of my head, but I bet if you google it you can find out!” GRRR…

3. When people sign emails “Happy Monday!” Seriously Sally Jo, there is NOTHING happy about a freaking Monday!! Get to work!

2. When you are feeling GREAT about yourself and decide to go out that night and put on your favorite pair of jeans and they don't fit! So then you proceed to suck everything in by putting on not 1 but 2 pairs of spanx to squeeze it all in – not kidding, I did this Saturday. God bless Spanx. (Good call on this one Michelle!)

1. You wake up hung-over only to check your iphone and realize you have 11 new facebook notifications and apparently you have been drunk messaging on facebook all night long (damnit!!!!!!). As Kristan says, drunk facebook messaging is the new drunk dialing!!

Hope everyone feels my pain and has some hilariously annoying “I hate it when ______ happens” moments to add to my list. And to all of my friends on facebook enjoying your glorious day off, I hope you had a great day and that you had a nice time in your pj’s on the couch catching reruns of 90210…. Perhaps you even found yourself chanting “Donna Martin Graduates…” That’s all I really want… I’m really not a bitter person, I just really want a freakin’ snow day!!!!