It’s been 21 days, 4 hours and 27 minutes since the bf and I took the giant leap and are now “official.” Oh yes… we are living under the same roof in Astoria, NY and believe it or not we are both alive to tell all and the apartment is still standing (oh and the names are on the mailbox, weird!). I already feel like I could write a book on how to stay sane while living with a boyfriend! To be brutally honest my book would be called, “Ladies, follow my rules in order to keep your freaking sanity, be prepared.”
Before the bf moved in I took to asking my friends Susie and Michelle for their expert advice. Sure the bf and I have been together for 6 years, but living together is a totally different ballgame. Susie’s 1st answer without a 2nd thought was plain and simple… “Julie get your own toothpaste!” (with a very serious tone mind you) She wasn’t kidding around! Then Michelle says, “Pick and choose your battles, oh and get your own orange juice, they drink out of the cartons!!” To be honest, that one took me by surprise because I am the one in the relationship that drinks from the orange juice carton and the bf calls me out on it! Oh no! Should the bf be writing a book on ME? EEK! Being the daughter of a librarian I can’t help but wonder if there is in fact a book, perhaps a guide to living a sane life with your significant other? A rule book to obey by, suggestions on how to maintain the fun relationship you once had because no matter what it changes... especially in your NYC shoebox apartment. I mean this person is going to see my secret single behavior (if he hasn’t already ;) and become accustomed to my personal ways (eek) which I am sure he is already, but everyday? Are you serious?
Now, I don’t claim to be an expert but below are the suggestions when moving in with your significant other…
Be prepared because you may think you know them, but you have no idea.
The certain comfort level that you once established is quickly eliminated once you let your hair down. When seeing your significant other in a more relaxed atmosphere the comfort level immediately drops and you start to realize that it’s okay see each other in less than optimal situations. We’re not talking about seeing your gf without her makeup on fellas… try seeing her with the mascara run down her face, in a fettle position not being able to move or leave the bathroom because of a disastrous night out before. But soon you learn not to bat an eye and you tell her she looks great with a straight face, now that’s love (not that I’d know anything about that situation ;)
Make all decisions together ESPECIALLY when it comes to decorating.
You know those friends you have that when you go to their new place with their bf/husband it looks like it’s one person living there and the other had absolutely no say what so ever? (Oh and not to mention, every freaking picture around the place is of them?) ALERT!! ALERT!! Do NOT do that!!! You are starting off new and the place should be BOTH of yours. Take some time to make sure you do it together so it shows off both personalities. My friend Kristan was the 1st person who told me to make sure I did this! I cannot express it enough… Make the decisions together! From how to decorate, to getting new furniture you pick out together so the place is BOTH of yours! Oh and please for the love of your guests include other people besides yourselves in pictures around the place, no one wants to see the mush everywhere they turn. Moving on…
The movies lie!
Women are not always as beautiful as they seem on TV. Check out the stars without make-up blogs if you don’t believe me! We do not always wear skinny jeans, low cut shirts or skimpy lingerie (let alone MATCHING lingerie). Contrary to popular belief, we do not wake up with make-up on… that takes effort. Effort sometimes we don’t want to do! So listen up gentlemen… please realize we WILL be in sweats, we WILL be without makeup, our hair WILL NOT be done (and perhaps not even washed, or maybe that’s just me… whatever!), and sometimes we won’t even be considered cute – just remember it’s inside what counts. Isn’t that what you told me late last night? ;)
Compromise on the huge flat screen, sharing is caring.
Gentlemen get ready to give up some PTI and get ready to experience the joy of House Hunters and E News! (it’s in HD, c’mon). And just realize at some point I promise that you will start to enjoy both shows and that will scare you at 1st, but it’s “love” (lol). Oh and as the bf just told me as some advice for you guys out there, “get ready to watch more than 1 Lifetime movie a week.” Hey, I watch the bball games, I realize March is YOUR month in front of the TV, but we play by BOTH of our rules now.
Get over it!
Like Michelle said, “Pick and choose your battles!” This comes especially true when that furniture delivery arrives. This is NOT and I repeat NOT a “bonding” activity or any sort of “fun.” Get over it, it sucks, there’s no better way to put it. It will be the most miserable 5 hours of your life together, just put on 90s music and drink beer – it helps ease the pain. Ps – This begs me to ask the question, since when does nice furniture come in pieces? What jerks.
DVR is God’s gift to couples everywhere.
It is without a doubt that DVR is the best invention ever on this planet. It saves so many fights! I can finally watch Gossip Girls in piece and quiet without the little voice besides me asking why Serena would ever go for a loser like Dan. Or why the “troll” girl is still on American Idol… or why Anoop ever thought it was a good idea to sing “Beat It.” Although I find myself asking the same exact question!
Hire a cleaning lady! Your best investment ever…
This will eliminate all of the banter back and forth…”you didn’t clean the hair out of the shower” (yikes, that was me!) or “you didn’t scrub the floors” blah blah blah… best money spent, do it today. You won’t regret it. Done.
Drop off your laundry – they do it for you, GENIUS!
The laundry mat washes your clothes you do nothing but drop off and pick up. Genius, utter genius. Sounds like a no-brainer to me! However, I will miss pushing the cart to the laundry mat with the bf and fighting with the Housewives of Queens, New York while asking the laundry attendant to pull out their clothes. Bravo should do a show on these women, forget the Jersey Housewives of the Mob - these ladies are nuts! They hog the machines and get into serious fights, it’s insane.
So I guess the moral of the story is, after all of the different habits are learned and both people are happy and accepting of each other, this can be the best and most fun move or as I like to say “adventure” ever (oh and the fact you don’t have to pack over night bags anymore is a major bonus). I think I answered the question the best when my friend at work (Anne) asked me, “What is your favorite thing about living with the bf?” And my answer was simple, “It’s so nice to have someone to come home to every night.”
Side note: Wow – that was mush and so not me, stay tuned for next weeks blog…. What the hell was I thinking? LOL!
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