Juls and the City

What's the REAL truth?

2009-09-24T13:26:00.000-07:00

“I swear to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help me God.” Sound familiar? We’ve all heard this line a million times in movies, plays or perhaps you’ve even said it yourself in a similar scenario. Is anyone as happy as I am that we don’t have to take this oath every morning before we start our day? You know - like in that movie “Liar, Liar.” What would happen if we were asked questions and one day spit out the REAL truth instead of the “proper” answer that we all tend to routinely repeat? Well, today is the day that I am going to come clean with some of my answers and introduce to you (once again) these so-called characters who always tend to ask the obnoxious questions:

Sara, Size 0, You’re my Hero… asks:
Q: Julie, why do you never go to any of the New York beaches?
A: I’d love to sometime, but unfortunately just haven’t had the chance yet.
Truth: Do you not see that I am boarder-line albino, I get red. I go to the gym… YES, but I’d rather be in bed. I hate crunches, therefore I wear spanx. A bikini isn’t sounding too good right now, but thanks.

Paula, Miss Perky, Zip it! You sound like a turkey… asks:
Q: Are you ready to enjoy your workout today?
A: You bet!
Truth: Paula, honey, there is absolutely nothing I will enjoy about this workout. In fact, I am dreading it and would rather be sitting in a room watching paint dry. So please instead of asking me that… here’s an idea: Why not wait until I am making my exit, then suddenly pause as you see me briskfully walk by and urgently stop me and say (or shout, whatever floats your boat) “WHOA! Julie - Girl, you look like you’ve lost 5 lbs in the last hour! Holler! Your arms are looking more like Michelle Obama’s everyday!” Then my truthful answer would be, “Thanks! See you tomorrow!” Think about it.

Judy Walker, SURPRISE! You may have a stalker… asks:
Q: How did you know I got a new job?
A: Oh um… (insert long pause) you told me about it, you must have forgotten, anyway… congrats! (Insert: Fake a call on the cell and proceed to RUN!)
Truth: F*CK!!!! I’m caught. Well you see, the truth is, Judy Walker, I was drunk. I stalked your facebook profile last night at 2am, wasted.
Q: Are we even facebook friends?
Truth: Funny you should ask that, you see I stalked you under Jenny’s account – Whoops! You haven’t done that before? It’s totally normal, everyone is doing it. See you are friends with my ex and to stalk his page I have to go through your page. Hummm… okay, well… I just thought it was a great idea at the time and wanted to join in the excitement and give you the kudos like everyone else! Btw, that was a hideous pink tube top (who wears those anymore ps?) that you wore to that concert and who was the bearded guy you were making out with? Was he really taking body shots off you? You're 32 years old, you still do that? Bad decisions all around Judy Walker – shall we call a truce?

ALERT!! Dear Facebook, please do myself and every other intoxicated facebook user a favor and insert codes prior to logging on between the hours of 10pm-6am (perhaps like on Ticketmaster) to get fools (aka moi) off the thing. It’s addicting… and the next morning is the worst! Looking at your phone with one eye shut and the other open in fear of what you may have posted. Then suddenly realizing you “accidently” befriended someone with a note in which you would have never done sober & not only that, but you have 11 new facebook notifications– Really? Help! Facebook Anonymous???

Cheap devious Chuck, who skips out on a couple bucks… asks:
Q: Can my child have your seat? (sidenote: I didn’t forget to add “please” for this certain character there is never a “please”)
A: Sure
Truth: Hell no! Your little brat is almost as tall as I am! I paid 2 dollars for this seat! Why is it okay for little Sneaky Pete to go under the subway terminal and skip out of paying the fare? Then to make matters worse, this is an overcrowded train and now I have to stand and I can barely reach the pole when you didn’t even pay! H*ll no! Child Please! As Ocho Cinco would say! Can you tell I am furious? I think so.

Too damn jolly Miss Molly:
Q: Are you having a Happy Monday?
A: Oh yes.
Truth: Seriously Miss Molly? There is NOTHING happy about a freaking Monday and furthermore you have just ruined my Monday by that Patty Simcox greeting! Now because of Y-O-U I won’t get any work done because I will be going over scenarios in my head of what to do to ruin your Monday as well. Really? Really?

Terry the Tricky Temptress.. asks:
Q: Do you want fries with that?
A: No thanks.
Truth: OF COURSE I DO!!! Is that a trick question? Whoever says that they really do not want fries is a complete and utter liar. Who doesn’t love the crispy delicious salted fries especially when they are transferred from the frier to your plate and burnt to perfection? There’s nothing better than that 1st delectable taste. Terry, this is just a mean question, in fact it’s down right cruel. In the future, please do not ask that question. Listen, if I didn’t order them please… just act like they do not exist or you ran out. This is for your sake and the sake of my a$$.

Boring Bree, you have nothing to say, now I’ll be on my way… asks:
Q: How are you?
A: Good thanks.
Truth: Do you really want to know Bree? Well, I’m so mad at myself right now. Last night (and this is a true story) I was on my way to the gym. I walked in the door for 5 seconds, then turned right around and went home. Technically I “went to the gym” doesn't that count? Anyway, once home I had a couple beers, I ate a pizza and didn’t wake up until I had to the next morning... even though last night I promised myself that I’d workout at 6am. Wishful thinking. So, I’m not good and I'm a bit hungover. Let’s just give each other the ever-so-kind head nod and be on our merry ways! No need to speak, to be honest we both don’t care what the other has to say.

There you have it folks! The truth is out in the open. You know, I kinda feel a sense of relief now. So I have to ask… What are some of the questions that you would love to give a truthful answer to in your everyday life? And don't forget: Remember to tell the truth and the whole truth and so….. SO WHAT!

Observations.

2009-05-19T10:57:00.001-07:00

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Every New Yorker waits in great anticipation for that first real summer day in the city. Who doesn’t love to linger in the park with friends while reading the latest gossip magazines or just simply walking around the city enjoying the weather (and if you are me, eating Tasty D-Lite). There’s nothing better! Until “it” happens…. As I was lounging in the park reading my highly intelligent US Weekly, I saw “them”…yes… “they” have come out from God knows where and my thoughts suddenly turned from hoping that Britney does something crazy again (because I am so tired of hearing about that stupid couple from “Jon and Kate Plus Whatever”) to….WHAT is THAT person thinking! Does she not own a mirror? Is that guy seriously wearing those?

So I thought I’d take some time to share with you my observations on who these ‘characters’ really are that suddenly come out in the summertime...

1. Flo the Overly Excited Albino – Yes Flo, we realize you couldn’t be more excited to be out and about in the summer heat… Wahoo me too, cheers… but please do us all a favor and indulge in some self-tanner before you decide it’s a good idea to blind the world with your pale (borderline albino) legs. We all have the ‘winter legs’ but please just be weary who you show. Know that mini skirts are not meant for the pale. Here’s a brilliant idea, invest $9.99 in a full size mirror because if you would have seen your reflection before gracing us with your presence then I wouldn’t be blinded today. Self-tanner + long mirror = lifesaver!

2. Tess the Hot Mess – Tess, you should probably know that wearing less is sometimes not always the best! To all you men out there, listen to me, you must take the good with the bad. Yes, hot girls are going to wear less (wahoo for you!), but know this…. The not-so-hot girls will wear even less. Brace yourself. And to the women, please know that just because everyone else is wearing less, it does not mean that rolls are cool to show off either. “Ladies, leave the rolls at the bakery...” (as Michelle would say ;)

3. Midriff Tiff– Tiff, Tiff, Tiff, just because it is 70 degrees outside does not mean that midriff shirts are okay. To all my readers in case you are unaware, I must alert you that you will never see a midriff t-shirt stretched to the absolute limit. Those shirts can stretch! I mean it just makes me sit back and imagine… what the t-shirts are saying to each other as they hang off the rack at Strawberry. I’m pretty sure it goes something like this, “Hey Tiff, $5 says you get picked up by some broad that could play offensive tackle for the Giants!” “That’s nothing Patty, I heard that chick that’s been eyeing you over there is competing in the Coney Island Hot Dog contest next week!”

4. Slop on the Flip Flop Dot – Listen up Dot, I know how excited you are to wear those new silver Havaianans flip flops, I’m excited too that they made the thin straps, however please note Rule #1 of the summertime: Flip flops should not be worn without your first initial summer pedicure. It just shouldn't happen, it’s disgusting, Peeling nail polish from January + Toe Jam = Not Cool.

5. Shorty 140 – All women know that men are mucho more aggressive in the summer time. This is highly noticeable for the (as I like to call them as per Michelle once again) “Shorty 140’s.” Why is it that short guys automatically think they can get (or have a chance with) the short girls? Seriously Sir just because you are 5’2 does not in the least bit mean that A) I have ANY interest in you what-so-ever and B) would ever touch you with a 10 ft pole. I’ll never forget when I was in Dallas last year with my best friend Amanda and the shorty’s attacked us! Why Sir! Why! We had to run to another bar and escape, it was painful! Are you not getting the point Mister? This isn't a 'chase' or any fun, quite franklyI am scared of you!! We even ran to the bathroom and when we walked out sure enough - there he was waiting for us with a scary little smirk on his face. HELP! Police!!

6. Manny and his Mandals – Dear Manny, why do you think it’s okay to wear those hideous mandals with the extravagant straps that basically look like sneakers with holes? No one wants to see your unpedicured feet and yellow toe nails! Not to mention you look absolutely ridiculous. I mean unless you’re going to be on the beach in less than 15 minutes, it’s unacceptable. If there is NO chance you will be walking on sand within the hour, do us all a favor and find alternative footwear. As the boyfriend says, “freaking Aquasocks would be a notch up!”

7. Bargain Betty - Oh Betty my dear, I love a great bargain just like you, but next time please do some research when getting that new summer dress that you think is a steal! Here’s an idea perhaps put your hand under the fabric and then put it up to the light… if it’s see through then don’t buy it! It’s that simple. I know that you can find some great deals out there, but buyers beware of the very thin fabric. It can just look terrifying to the rest of us! If you are going for that so-called “deal” then please, dear god, please chose your undergarments wisely. For the good of all man kind!

Well, I guess that does it for now. These are just a few of the so-called "characters" that I observed last weekend. What do you guys think? Who am I forgetting? C’mon!! You may all think I was a little harsh but I would call it honest. Gotta love the summer!

Ps - Michelle this blog is kindly dedicated to you. HA!

PS - DON'T FORGET TO TAKE THE POLL AT THE UPPER RIGHT HAND SIDE OF THE WEBSITE! Can't wait to get the results ;)

Moving in with the bf? Read this 1st!

2009-04-16T13:04:00.000-07:00

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It’s been 21 days, 4 hours and 27 minutes since the bf and I took the giant leap and are now “official.” Oh yes… we are living under the same roof in Astoria, NY and believe it or not we are both alive to tell all and the apartment is still standing (oh and the names are on the mailbox, weird!). I already feel like I could write a book on how to stay sane while living with a boyfriend! To be brutally honest my book would be called, “Ladies, follow my rules in order to keep your freaking sanity, be prepared.”

Before the bf moved in I took to asking my friends Susie and Michelle for their expert advice. Sure the bf and I have been together for 6 years, but living together is a totally different ballgame. Susie’s 1st answer without a 2nd thought was plain and simple… “Julie get your own toothpaste!” (with a very serious tone mind you) She wasn’t kidding around! Then Michelle says, “Pick and choose your battles, oh and get your own orange juice, they drink out of the cartons!!” To be honest, that one took me by surprise because I am the one in the relationship that drinks from the orange juice carton and the bf calls me out on it! Oh no! Should the bf be writing a book on ME? EEK! Being the daughter of a librarian I can’t help but wonder if there is in fact a book, perhaps a guide to living a sane life with your significant other? A rule book to obey by, suggestions on how to maintain the fun relationship you once had because no matter what it changes... especially in your NYC shoebox apartment. I mean this person is going to see my secret single behavior (if he hasn’t already ;) and become accustomed to my personal ways (eek) which I am sure he is already, but everyday? Are you serious?

Now, I don’t claim to be an expert but below are the suggestions when moving in with your significant other…

Be prepared because you may think you know them, but you have no idea.
The certain comfort level that you once established is quickly eliminated once you let your hair down. When seeing your significant other in a more relaxed atmosphere the comfort level immediately drops and you start to realize that it’s okay see each other in less than optimal situations. We’re not talking about seeing your gf without her makeup on fellas… try seeing her with the mascara run down her face, in a fettle position not being able to move or leave the bathroom because of a disastrous night out before. But soon you learn not to bat an eye and you tell her she looks great with a straight face, now that’s love (not that I’d know anything about that situation ;)

Make all decisions together ESPECIALLY when it comes to decorating.
You know those friends you have that when you go to their new place with their bf/husband it looks like it’s one person living there and the other had absolutely no say what so ever? (Oh and not to mention, every freaking picture around the place is of them?) ALERT!! ALERT!! Do NOT do that!!! You are starting off new and the place should be BOTH of yours. Take some time to make sure you do it together so it shows off both personalities. My friend Kristan was the 1st person who told me to make sure I did this! I cannot express it enough… Make the decisions together! From how to decorate, to getting new furniture you pick out together so the place is BOTH of yours! Oh and please for the love of your guests include other people besides yourselves in pictures around the place, no one wants to see the mush everywhere they turn. Moving on…

The movies lie!
Women are not always as beautiful as they seem on TV. Check out the stars without make-up blogs if you don’t believe me! We do not always wear skinny jeans, low cut shirts or skimpy lingerie (let alone MATCHING lingerie). Contrary to popular belief, we do not wake up with make-up on… that takes effort. Effort sometimes we don’t want to do! So listen up gentlemen… please realize we WILL be in sweats, we WILL be without makeup, our hair WILL NOT be done (and perhaps not even washed, or maybe that’s just me… whatever!), and sometimes we won’t even be considered cute – just remember it’s inside what counts. Isn’t that what you told me late last night? ;)

Compromise on the huge flat screen, sharing is caring.
Gentlemen get ready to give up some PTI and get ready to experience the joy of House Hunters and E News! (it’s in HD, c’mon). And just realize at some point I promise that you will start to enjoy both shows and that will scare you at 1st, but it’s “love” (lol). Oh and as the bf just told me as some advice for you guys out there, “get ready to watch more than 1 Lifetime movie a week.” Hey, I watch the bball games, I realize March is YOUR month in front of the TV, but we play by BOTH of our rules now.

Get over it!
Like Michelle said, “Pick and choose your battles!” This comes especially true when that furniture delivery arrives. This is NOT and I repeat NOT a “bonding” activity or any sort of “fun.” Get over it, it sucks, there’s no better way to put it. It will be the most miserable 5 hours of your life together, just put on 90s music and drink beer – it helps ease the pain. Ps – This begs me to ask the question, since when does nice furniture come in pieces? What jerks.

DVR is God’s gift to couples everywhere.
It is without a doubt that DVR is the best invention ever on this planet. It saves so many fights! I can finally watch Gossip Girls in piece and quiet without the little voice besides me asking why Serena would ever go for a loser like Dan. Or why the “troll” girl is still on American Idol… or why Anoop ever thought it was a good idea to sing “Beat It.” Although I find myself asking the same exact question!

Hire a cleaning lady! Your best investment ever…
This will eliminate all of the banter back and forth…”you didn’t clean the hair out of the shower” (yikes, that was me!) or “you didn’t scrub the floors” blah blah blah… best money spent, do it today. You won’t regret it. Done.

Drop off your laundry – they do it for you, GENIUS!
The laundry mat washes your clothes you do nothing but drop off and pick up. Genius, utter genius. Sounds like a no-brainer to me! However, I will miss pushing the cart to the laundry mat with the bf and fighting with the Housewives of Queens, New York while asking the laundry attendant to pull out their clothes. Bravo should do a show on these women, forget the Jersey Housewives of the Mob - these ladies are nuts! They hog the machines and get into serious fights, it’s insane.

So I guess the moral of the story is, after all of the different habits are learned and both people are happy and accepting of each other, this can be the best and most fun move or as I like to say “adventure” ever (oh and the fact you don’t have to pack over night bags anymore is a major bonus). I think I answered the question the best when my friend at work (Anne) asked me, “What is your favorite thing about living with the bf?” And my answer was simple, “It’s so nice to have someone to come home to every night.”

Side note: Wow – that was mush and so not me, stay tuned for next weeks blog…. What the hell was I thinking? LOL!

Since when did I become a grown-up?

2009-03-26T11:57:00.000-07:00

The dictionary describes a “grown-up” as having reached the age of maturity. When I think of a “grown-up” I immediately think of my three very close friends that I speak to everyday who are all married and either have kids or are expecting soon, but never before did I put myself in that “grown up” category until now.

So when did this happen? Did it happen so effortlessly that I didn’t even realize it? Was it when I moved to NYC and started paying my own rent and bills? Or was it when I started calling the doctors to make my own appointments? Or perhaps it might have been when I was no longer able to sleep in past 10am? Or wait a minute... It’s now! Well friends, the time has finally come, the biggest commitment of my life thus far… No, I am not pregnant, and no I am not getting married…. I am (drum roll please) taking the leap and moving in with the bf of 6 years (yes I did say 6 years, lucky man!) on Saturday.

It’s a really strange feeling… I’m very excited, happy, nervous, anxious and every emotion you can imagine all wrapped up into one! I’m not going to lie – I’ve loved my single girl life living in NYC especially nights when I come home drink wine, watch Gossip Girls and order in. Does that still happen when you live with someone? Or am I now supposed to watch countless hours of Sports Center and forget my vices that I cherish so much? Is it time to compromise and move on with life and celebrate a new beginning – am I finally a grown up?

So in celebration of the occasion at hand I thought it would only be appropriate to list my version of….

You know you are a grown-up when…

10. You were told after you graduated that you are no longer covered under your parent's insurance plan and that you need to get your own... what does that mean, doctors aren't free? I am so confused.

9. When you realize that the plastic drawers aren’t going to cut it anymore and you might have to invest in a real bedroom set and start wanting things to match! I never used to care! What happened! They still work…

8. When you come home from work and there isn’t anyone making you dinner and you suddenly start to realize that lean cuisine is considered gourmet food to you now.

7. When instead of catching all of the reality shows you’d much rather watch 60 Minutes and the news to catch up on current affairs. Seriously, I remember my mom doing that and I’d always BEG to change the channel!

6. When you finally realize you have to start paying back your freaking student loans! Enough said. Moving on…

5. When you open the mailbox because you are so excited to get your new US Weekly and all you can find are bills and suddenly notice that they are all addressed to you. So now instead of buying that new jacket you have been gushing over in the French Connection windows (that would btw look great on Friday night) you have to pay the dentist for a cavity filling! What!!!!! How is that fair?

4. When you get excited that you got a Kitchen Aid Mixer for Christmas and love using it every chance you get! (Thanks Mom!)

3. When you wake up after a night out and realize that doing it all over again is NOT an option. (HA! Thanks Kristan!)

2. When you get terrible hangovers after a night out. Back in college of course I got the occasional hangover, but nothing compared to now. If I have more than 2 glasses of wine I feel queasy the next day, what happened to me!!! Damn you tolerance!

1. When you realize that all of your high school/college friends are one or more of the following… engaged, married, have children or dare I say it…..have a mortgage.

So what do you guys think? When did you know you were a grown-up? Are you there yet?

Why do women lie about their age?

2009-03-12T09:02:00.000-07:00

Oh no it finally happened… All of a sudden in the past couple months I have found myself starting to lie about my age. I mean I’m not sure if it’s intentional but it’s definitely not honest.

For example, a couple weeks ago I was out with someone I met at a networking event brainstorming and he very politely asked how old I was and of course I was a little taken back. Really sir? Asking a woman her age, shame on you! Didn’t your grandmother teach you anything? So, I kindly replied with “27.” It just popped out I swear, very confidentially however with hesitation, not because I was lying about my age but because why would he ask? “I’m 27.” Then suddenly I realized – Wait a minute, that doesn’t sound right. Aren’t I 28… and soon to be 28 ½ on May 19th? And I didn’t believe myself so I started to do the math in my head because I couldn’t fathom that I was 28 years old already! AHH!! I could no longer concentrate on the task at hand and I couldn’t help but wonder…. When in the world did I turn 28 years old, I’m almost 30! When my mom was 28 she had 2 kids and was married. I’m living solo in NYC and lying to people about my age!! Who am I? On my next birthday am I going to be receiving those cards that say “well you’re not looking any younger” that I always make fun of? Perhaps I need to make an appointment for Botox! Do I need a face lift? Help!!

Then a week later it happened again!! I was in a meeting at work and suddenly taken off guard. For those of you that don’t know, I work in an extremely corporate atmosphere so you can imagine how uncomfortable I felt and how bright red my face turned when I was speaking and someone suddenly took me aside and said, “Julie, how old are you… really?” And I replied with a simple answer, “A woman never reveals her age.” Isn’t that rude to ask? When did it become ok to ask a person’s age? Especially at work! Are you going to start judging me when you do know my age? Here’s the thing, if I was going to tell you my age then the questions would start to trickle in……“So why aren’t you married yet?” “You’re getting old, might want to think about children soon!” “What do you want to do with your life?” Ahh!

Then I started to wonder, why did I start lying about my age? Some may say it’s the simple fact that in our society we value the youthful women and it’s embarrassing to grow old. Others may say we don’t want to admit we are getting old, but I say.... it’s no one else’s business!

So to put a stop to the madness, I have learned never to reveal my age. So what… I may be 21 on blogger, 26 on myspace, 24 on Twitter, 25 on Facebook, and on every birthday I miraculously turn 21 or 24 again (depending on the mood)…. But who cares. Age is just a number, right?

I hate it when ________ happens!

2009-01-28T14:09:00.000-08:00

So, perhaps I’m just not having the ‘Best Week Ever’ or perhaps it’s the simple fact that when I logged onto facebook today I noticed that 399 of my 408 friends have “snow days!!” A snow day? Are we in 5th grade again? They are enjoying themselves doing absolutely nothing in their pajamas while I am slaving away at work. Not to mention that I made the long walk in the snow, sleet, rain just to get here and now look like I just returned from a war zone (guess it was a waste of time to straighten my hair this morning)!! I hate it when that happens. I am so extremely, ridiculously jealous of my friends who are watching reruns of 90210 while lounging on their couches at home. Why does everyone get a snow day but me??? So I thought it would only be appropriate on this day of sorrow (at least for moi) to share with you my top 11

“I hate it when ______ happens” moments….

11. When you are late to work and you hear the train in the station so you run down the stairs and just as you are swiping your metro card you hear that ‘ding ding’ and the doors close. You just missed it! Suddenly then you realize it will be another 10 minutes of waiting. Weekends are especially brutal.

10. When kids go under the subway turnstiles and don’t pay! Then to make matters worse they take the last seat on the train! OR you are expected to get up and give them your seat when you paid your $2!! I can pass for a kid, perhaps I should try this technique…. Jerks! I don’t care if you are 4 years old! Cough up the 2 bucks!! :)

9. When you DVR your favorite tv show and finally sit down to relax and watch it then all of a sudden the recording stops and you miss the last couple minutes! (Needless to say, I’ve had to start recording the show after Gossip Girls to ensure this would never happen again, it’s unacceptable!)

8. When you get to the laundry-mat 2 minutes late and someone is already pulling your clothes out of the dryer whether they are dry or not. Don’t worry I have indeed witnessed 2 extreme fights at Jiffy Jeff’s and it’s not pretty, I just run and hide in a corner not gonna lie. You think the OC Housewives are crazy, that’s nothing! The Queens housewives are vicious (perhaps Bravo should tape them next!).

7. When you are in the airport security line and you happen to choose the line that isn’t moving because no one was prepared. They “forgot” to take their laptops out of their bags, forgot to take their shoes off, forgot that they have to show their boarding passes and just laugh it off…. in no hurry at all. HATE that! Morons.

6. When you finally get enough motivation to hit the gym and then end up waiting 15 minutes for a machine and loose all motivation so you just leave. Well, I did go… that’s gotta count for something, right? What happened to the saying, “It’s the thought that counts.”

5. When guys see the celebrities in the magazines and drool over how ‘hot’ they are but little do they realize these women (well majority) don’t look like that in real life. I mean I wish I was air brushed in every photo (which I do attempt to do with my addiction to spray tanning but c’mon!). I wish I had a makeup artist and hair stylist every morning! Geez!! And furthermore, if I didn’t have to work all day and could afford a trainer I’d be a size 00 too, I mean honestly celebrities really have no reason to be fat at all… I’ll stop myself now, we’ll save that for another blog ;)

4. When someone emails you the dumbest question, for example (work related) when someone asks what the address and phone number is to the hotel where their boss is staying… So I simply reply, “Not sure off the top of my head, but I bet if you google it you can find out!” GRRR…

3. When people sign emails “Happy Monday!” Seriously Sally Jo, there is NOTHING happy about a freaking Monday!! Get to work!

2. When you are feeling GREAT about yourself and decide to go out that night and put on your favorite pair of jeans and they don't fit! So then you proceed to suck everything in by putting on not 1 but 2 pairs of spanx to squeeze it all in – not kidding, I did this Saturday. God bless Spanx. (Good call on this one Michelle!)

1. You wake up hung-over only to check your iphone and realize you have 11 new facebook notifications and apparently you have been drunk messaging on facebook all night long (damnit!!!!!!). As Kristan says, drunk facebook messaging is the new drunk dialing!!

Hope everyone feels my pain and has some hilariously annoying “I hate it when ______ happens” moments to add to my list. And to all of my friends on facebook enjoying your glorious day off, I hope you had a great day and that you had a nice time in your pj’s on the couch catching reruns of 90210…. Perhaps you even found yourself chanting “Donna Martin Graduates…” That’s all I really want… I’m really not a bitter person, I just really want a freakin’ snow day!!!!

I knew I was a "New Yorker" when...

2009-01-22T10:02:00.000-08:00

They say that once you live in the “city” for 5 years you can call yourself a “New Yorker.” Until you reach that 5 year mark don’t even try it because someone is sure to knock you off that high pedestal you so proudly put yourself on. It’s an honor to be called a “New Yorker,” the title cannot be thrown around. It’s like when you are rushing to be in that ever so popular sorority your freshman year at college… you want so badly to be apart of that clique and will do anything, but until they say the word you have no shot. You have to work at it to gain THE prestigious title.

Marking my 5 1/2 year anniversary in New York I got to thinking……when did I first know that I was a “New Yorker???”

So... based on my experience living in the city here are my thoughts!

You know you’re a New Yorker when…………………

-Every morning in the Starbucks line you have your $2.11 ready to go for a grande coffee, in & out in a matter of minutes! No chit chat…

-You think that “luxury” living would be my apartment in Queens only with a dishwasher.

-You’ve never been to the Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade or to see the ball drop on New Years Eve.

-You think it’s totally normal to go through a metal detector prior to entering a nightclub (Thanks Michelle, aww memories!).

-You think $6 for a beer is a bargain.

-You think it’s totally normal to push a cart down the street to go to the laundry-mat or grocery store (I’d love to do that in Indiana, what kind of reaction would I get?? “Are you homeless woman? Get off our streets!”).

-You never ever go to a chain restaurant – you are so above that ;)

-You watch all of the movies and tv shows based in New York and know that it’s just not possible (or believable) for young people to live in Manhattan with a 1000 sq ft apartment working in fashion for $15 an hour without a hefty trust fund. Seriously Michelle said it perfectly about these shows, “Can they be a little more realistic about living in NYC? No one their age really lives that way! Instead of downtown or uptown, they should say, bridge OR tunnel!”

-In the summer you know where every single Tasty Delight in the city is located.

-When the street vendor is trying to sell you a bottle of water for $2 you tell him that you’ll give him $1 and get away with it. Everything on the street is negotiable.

-The kids no longer say “I’m going to Ann’s house” they say “I have a PLAYDATE with Ann”

-You know what a bodega is.

-In the summer time you always have a pair of flip-flops in your purse so you can change out of those high heels. Comfort is key!

-You make more money than anyone back home in the Midwest but you’re still broke!

-You would never dare to make a dinner reservation earlier than 9pm, especially on weekends.

-You ignore a stranger when they ask you for directions and pretend you didn’t hear them and then go the other way fearing for your life.

-You know that Streets and Avenues mean two completely different things.

-You realize that eating a pretzel off the street is totally normal and it’s actually really good.

-You can put your makeup on perfectly on the subway even with the sudden stops.

-You know exactly how to fold your newspaper perfectly in the subway so you aren’t in anyone’s way.

-You never order from pizza hut or from other pizza chains – it’s just not an option.

-Refer to your tennis shoes as “Sneakers.”

-You never get mad when someone is running late to meet for a bite to eat, you just enjoy a glass of wine and relax.

-You can tell by looking at a Louis Vuitton bag if it’s real or not.

-You learned not to buy tickets to events on the street because it’s 90% always a scam and you’ve experienced it 1st hand.

-You don’t smile walking down the streets and never make eye contact with anyone.

-You don’t care if you push, shove or as Susie says “throw bows’” getting on/off the subway. You will do whatever it takes to get on and off that train!

-You check craigs list everyday – who knows who has great furniture they are giving away or what great apartments are now for rent!

-You realize there is no one else running against the democratic candidate and you don’t even question it no matter what.

-You are fine with living in a shoebox apartment and 500 sq feet is considered big.

-You have to go threw 3 doors with dead-bolts to get into your apartment (yep I do!).

-You notice someone getting sick on the train and instead of finding out if he/she is okay you are just so mad that they had to get sick on YOUR train because now you’ll be late for work!!

-If someone is standing too close to you on the subway or accidentally bumps into you – you always grab your purse and check your pockets!

-You are totally fine with finding a random person off of craigslist to be your roommate (yep done that a number of times in the old place, damn actors lol!).

-The guy from the deli gives you a straw with every beverage you buy even if it’s a BEER! (HAHA Thanks Kristan!)

-You refer to NYC as “The City.”

-You never do the touristy things on your own only if your friends are in town and even then you find excuses to bail.

-You go to the store and if you have too much to carry home than you have no problem jumping in a car with a complete stranger standing outside if you give him $10 (Kat and I have done this many times leaving Cosco, eek!).

-You never ever go to Midtown unless it’s for work.

-You think an hour commute to work isn’t that bad at all.

-You own the warmest winter coat imaginable and don’t care about style as long as it is warm and down to the ground.

-You have never been to the top of the empire state building.

-A birthday party in a park is totally normal, just bring a cooler with wine (however Michelle’s mom is so anti… lol laugh every time at that story!).

-You have at least 5 cab horror stories.

-You’d never buy a Broadway ticket for full price.

-You know all of the shortcuts through buildings to get to the next street.

-You have every restaurant that delivers to your apartment programmed in your phone.

-If you’re out to eat and paying cash for your meal you never leave it on the table you hand it to the waiter.

- You answer your emails within 5 minutes and think it’s rude for someone to take a day to write you back.

I saved the best reason for last… I think my 1st friend in New York, Michelle (who is a native New Yorker), said it perfectly when she said “Honestly, I knew you were a new yorker when we went to vegas and you a) pushed a girl who spilled her drink on you and b) stole some poor mid-westerner guys poker chips, cashed it in and ran!” OOPS!!! Well I guess after 5 years and 4 months of living in the city, I can now consider myself a New Yorker! Phew!

How did YOU know you were a New Yorker???

Thanksgiving + Football = WHAT?!?!!!

2008-11-25T13:06:00.000-08:00

I love this week at work! So much to look forward to… ½ day on Wednesday, and off for the rest of the week! Finally some time to unwind and relax, but of course with that comes the most anticipated eating day of the year… Thanksgiving. Aw yes the day when calories do not count and you are “allowed” to eat whatever you want. A day when you get together with your family and friends and share your thanks without a care in the world. Every other year I have stayed in the city for the holiday and we have gone out to eat, I mean c’mon there is nothing better than drinking at 2pm and eating as much or more than you can handle without being judged, but this year I needed a change.. something new…. So my friend Shannon & I decided that we were up for the infamous challenge that so many people dread on this beloved holiday….. COOKING!!

Now I do have to take a time out here and toot my own horn and say that I have become quite the cook in the last year (well, minus that time last month when I attempted to make Kat (the b-friend) a Shepherd’s Pie and he was sick for the next 2 days and almost couldn’t go to work) but other tries have come out pretty well. So I ran the idea by Kat to see what he thought of this so-called “adventure.” What can be so hard about cooking a bird? Oh and who wants to go out on Thanksgiving? Please… give me a pair of drawstring sweatpants and let’s eat!! It made perfect sense in my book so now I just had to convince him that this was an excellent idea. I mean there’s the parade to watch, cocktails to drink and who wants to ride the subway on a holiday and wait in the cold for 25 minutes until the next train arrives that is guaranteed to be packed with parade-crazed tourists?!! And if you live in NY you will know who I am talking about ;)

After much deliberation he quickly said, “Yes, let’s do it – but on one condition… it has to be at my place since I have the HD TV.” So I promptly replied with “Great, can’t wait to see all of the Broadway performers during the parade on HD!” And he responded with a little smirk, and I couldn’t help but be extremely curious as to what caused that sneaky little look. So… after some interrogation efforts on my part he finally let loose and responded with “Julie, it’s the biggest football holiday in the world!!!” WHAT!! So I immediately responded with, "Excuse me?" thinking I didn't hear him correctly, but I was wrong and he was dead serious. Ugh! FOOTBALL?!?!?!! Sports on Thanksgiving?! Thanksgiving is now a football holiday? Why is this not making sense to me? Since when does a holiday center around football? I mean I do like the occasional game on a Sunday – but that’s it...

Does he understand that it is on this particular glorious holiday that the Christmas movies begin on Lifetime/TBS and the Christmas commercials start? Or if that's not his cup of tea, why not rent 5 Xmas movies and watch them all while getting in the spirit for the holiday season? Or if he isn't into movies, how about board games! Yes, I love board games, talk about a great way to spend time together… Now that’s the holiday spirit if you ask me, time spent with each other… not sitting in front of some HD tv watching grown up men beat up on each other, where’s the love there? Since when does a holiday meal center around football anyway and why is this okay? What happened to the story of the pilgrims! Aren’t we supposed to sit at the table and give thanks to each other. What now? What happened to the stories that we read growing up that said families sat around and wrote out what they were thankful for and then read them aloud, now that might be a bit much but you get my drift. So let me get this straight, on Thursday I am supposed to watch football and eat this feast we are preparing on.... TV TRAYS in the family room?!?!?!? I couldn't help but wonder, in a society such as this what does Thanksgiving truly mean anymore?

The dictionary describes Thanksgiving as:
-“The act of giving thanks”
-“Grateful acknowledgement of benefits and favors.”
-“Expression of thanks”
No where is FOOTBALL mentioned, I checked 3 times!

Being the good girlfriend I am, I'll fold... but just this once in order find out what all of this fuss is really about... football it is... So let it be known that on this magnificent holiday when we all give thanks to each other and appreciate the time we share together let us all take time to say “Touchdown!” “Defense…” in between bites and courses. I can only imagine what the pilgrims think of that...

So I guess the moral of the story is, whatever you are doing this Thursday– best wishes for a happy thanksgiving (with or without football).

Gooble, gobble.

What are we “Entitled” to now?

2008-10-21T14:00:00.001-07:00

It all started out next to a cornfield in Indiana (laugh all you want Michelle), I was the short girl with the chili bowl haircut with a serious addiction to Electric Youth perfume, Oregon Trail, YM quizzes, and Paula Abdul. My life was anything but normal. I lived with my crazy sister who had a red mullet and my mother, a children’s librarian, and I absolutely hated to read. My sister Ann and I were the typical 80s children who would sit up every night with the easy bake oven, fighting over why she would always cut my Barbie’s hair, watching Beetlejuice for the 100th time (still scared to this day) and making up new dances to ‘Vogue.’ The only break my sister would take is to escape to her room when she didn’t think I was looking for a quick interview with “Oprah” in the mirror gushing over her big Oscar win. To put it quite frankly, we had big dreams and not a care in the world, life was perfect.

Growing up with such a quaint family made you appreciate the small things in life, but made the dreams so much bigger! Of course Ann and I wanted to move to LA to be Candice Cameron’s best friend (perhaps I could’ve scored a date with her brother Kirk before he went all holy) but we did what our mother called the “right thing” and went to school, boring… that’s where 21 years ago I met one of my best friends to this day, Susie. Susie and I grew up together carpooling to/from school with our annoying little siblings who we couldn’t be bothered with during one of our daily car games of “My House!” But it was another particular car ride just last week that inspired this blog….

We were driving to Chicago sharing our favorite memories from growing up and laughing up a storm when all of a sudden the conversation quickly turned to politics and the upcoming election (is it over yet ps?) and then one thing led to another and we proceeded to talk about how awful and depressing the economy is these days… We started to realize more and more how happy-go-lucky we were when we were kids making up dances and playing dress up! I sat there staring out the window just wishing we could go back to those days when we didn’t have a care in the world but quickly coming back to the realization of how different our lives are now….. yet I couldn’t help but wonder if we truly understood how lucky we really were. We were given everything (and more) and it’s almost like we didn’t know any better than to “expect” it, not like today when everyone is counting every penny. What happened to the good old days? So Susie brought up a good point…

We come from the Entitlement Generation; we are what “they” call the Millenials. The dictionary describes it as “the group born between 1979 and 1994 who believe they are owed certain rights and benefits without further justification.” We are optimistic and believe we are “entitled” to everything; growing up we had our Zach Morris cell phones and our own cars, we went to private schools and were given money to go to the movies and out with our friends. The generation where everything is supposed to fall in your lap and the biggest concern you had was what you were going to wear Friday night to the football game or if you had a date to this years Fall Carnival. Can you take me back to those times? Please! Imagine the shock someone from this generation goes through when he/she graduates from school and enters the “real” world! I thought jobs were supposed to find us!

Seriously, did I miss the class that taught us about the hard ships of life after college or let’s be honest they should start a class entitled “How to survive: Life after college, being cut off by your parents 101.” That was a huge eye opener for anyone of our generation; I mean why do I have to pay a doctor bill, isn’t that free? If I am sick aren’t I “entitled” to go to the doctor for free? I did not choose to be sick. Aren’t I “entitled” to go to school for free and have someone else pay the student loans? What? Mom and dad aren’t paying for my vacation? Who’s paying for dinner? Isn’t there a job waiting for me with a fantastic salary and a month of vacation time which I will start taking next week? Oh and isn’t it right that this job will totally turn my career around and before you know it I’ll be a VP and with the company for 20+ years!! Haha.. yeah right!!! Oh and let me back up…. car insurance, what is that? Are we destined to learn from watching the latest “Survivor?” I do not remember Donna and Brenda going through this phase.

So I guess the lesson learned is that even if we were born in this so-called “Entitlement Generation” that the media, sociologists, and even employers so kindly label us as doesn’t necessarily have to be a bad thing, it’s what you make of it. We learn from these life experiences and that’s how we grow as a person (if you so wish, we all know someone that is still stuck in the entitlement phase, yikes)…. but then again - If we “desire” it and “want” it bad enough doesn’t that mean we’ll just work that much harder in the work place? Well I know one things for sure this kid with the chili bowl haircut who grew up in the cornfields of Indiana wants that high paying successful job, flexible work hours and definitely a lot of vacation days and I am definitely “entitled” to that! Right?????? (ha!)

If I had a Million Dollars...

2008-09-22T13:03:00.000-07:00

Do you remember that Barenaked Ladies song that was so popular back in the 90s, “If I had a Million Dollars…” (c’mon you know that tune and yes it will probably be stuck in your head all day long too!) Well, that’s all I had going through my head last week when I walked by that one event that every female New Yorker dreams to attend…. Fashion Week in Bryant Park.

Can’t you just imagine yourself walking up those white stairs with all of the photographers ready to take your picture as you enter that marvelous white tent, wearing the biggest sunglasses that you can find (or that your friend would let you borrow, ha) and a fabulous outfit so those pho-togs would think you were “someone.” Well, one of the shows had just let out so my friend and I just stood there in sheer amazement staring at everyone leaving, keeping a close eye out for the latest outfits and so-called new fashion trends.

You should have seen it – the shoes! Awww… how I love the shoes. You would have thought we were on the 8th floor at Saks in their 10022 shoe department! One woman particularly stood out, she was the lucky owner of the new delicious Christian Louboutin platform boots, and I think I just stood there staring at her in sheer admiration and of course extreme jealously. To put it quite frankly, she looked f-ing amazing. OH and she totally noticed I was creepily eying her as I didn’t move and my jaw was dropped, people would push by me to get down the street but I didn’t care, I was frozen. Oh and by the way it’s important to note that she totally loved herself even more noticing that a 20 something was in awe of her every move as I didn’t blink an eye imagining myself one day prancing down 6th Avenue as she was in those boots, loving myself and loving my life (Michelle, can we say Noele Wein?). So, my friend Kristan & I got to talking about it…. And we couldn’t help but wonder if we had to re-write the lyrics to that infamous song,“If I had a million dollars” what would we sing about?

And then we both blurted out the same exact thing.........

SHOES, SHOES, SHOES……….. and MORE Shoes!

Every woman craves that beautiful pair of shoes that just make you feel perfectly fabulous. Who doesn’t remember when Carrie Bradshaw saw those magnificent Manolo’s and uttered those 2 famous words we all have used at least once (even if you don’t want to admit it and make fun of me later), all together now… “Hello Lovers….” (Haha!) But seriously, have you ever had one of those moments? You see that perfect pair and you start to imagine yourself out with your girls sipping fruity cocktails and dancing and singing “Like a Prayer” without a care in the world… but then it happens…. reality sinks in… yuck. You then remember that rent is due on Monday and you can hardly afford dinner until you get paid on Friday because on top of that you still have to pay the cable bill…. But we can still dream right? Well, if I had a million dollars – then I would run to the 8th floor of Saks and buy a marvelous pair of shoes! Perhaps a couple! Selfish, right? I think it’s about whatever makes you happy. My friend Kristan explained it the best when she said that she gets 'chills' when she sees that perfect shoe. We love it. We can’t explain it. It’s just pure love and it makes us feel really good about ourselves. My normal pick would be the ones on sale at DSW, but if I had a million dollars I’d definitely be walking the streets of Manhattan in these Christian Louboutin Tortoise Heels that my friend Susie introduced me to (story about that later ;).

Who wouldn’t feel like a million bucks in those? Awww – the things I’d do… I mean there are so many other things of course – but just the one material possession would be fabulous shoes!
So what would YOU buy yourself if YOU had the million dollars? I’m not talking about all of the good deeds that I know you’d do, you’d save the world yada yada yada, awesome… I’m talking about that one thing you buy for yourself “if you had a million dollars….” What would the 1st thing be?

It is only appropriate to end this little blog the same way the Barenaked Ladies ended their catchy song - simply put... “If I had a million dollars…. I’d be RICH.” (and look F-ing amazing!)

"Never be Rude to the Guest!"

2008-08-20T10:13:00.000-07:00

My grandmother, “Mommom” is famous (at least in Lauren’s eyes) for always stopping Ann in her tracks telling her to “never be rude to the guest.” Lauren loved herself and still quotes Mommom to this day (love it!). And last night that’s all I wanted to say to this extremely rude restaurant host at an event. I mean why are people so rude? I just don’t get it, did he not get the memo that we are his guests? If he treats us like this, how does he treat others? Yikes!

So to preface, one of the perks to being an Event Planner in the city is that you get invited to all of these fabulous events, whether it’s restaurant tastings, parties in brand new spaces you name it! Not to mention the gifts, oh how I love the gifts. So last night my co-workers and I went to an event at del posto where of course Kristan likes to tell me the story when we had our event there in March she sat next to Reese and Jake! No biggie… Anyway, so we left work early and headed downtown, ready to finally relax after dealing with all of the stress of work that day. When we enter the restaurant we eagerly go downstairs and pick up our place cards anxiously awaiting the passed canapés and cocktails galore. (I love eating and drinking for a living!!) Well to our surprise we were all at different tables. If you’ve been to del posto before you know that it’s a longgggggg meal. I think ours was 5 courses and the thought of carrying on a conversation with people you have no idea who they are for that long just doesn’t sound appealing unless you’ve had the chance to chug at least 5-6 glasses of wine first. I’m really not trying to be annoying, but this was an event for planners to sample the new fall menu and to thank us for our business for the past year, so it should be an exciting evening.

So, we of course did our investigating and found so many others that were doing the same 7th grade switcheroo so they could sit with their friends. Judy from my team was now Candice Harper – you know how it goes!! Once dinner was ready, as the ‘good girl’ I am I went directly to my assigned table #10 and a fellow planner from Lehman asked my friend Anne if they could switch tables so it worked out perfectly!! Next we had a free seat at our table so my boss and colleague came on over. We had the best table! Not only was it the 4 of us, but we met 4 new friends, event planners from The Economist and JP Morgan. It was great!! It was exactly the networking that del posto had hoped to accomplish for us. We had great conversations and shared the typical Event Planner horror stories, our fav places to go in the city and before you knew it we were all fast friends and even discovered that we were at the same tradeshow in Hawaii 3 years ago.

Then suddenly one of the hosts from the restaurant came over and asked why we were all sitting together… I think he said (in a very rude tone), “I don’t understand why you guys are all sitting together! The purpose was to meet others and no one should be sitting with someone they know, I don’t understand who you think you are to switch tables. Blah blah blah….” Then he went and whispered in his colleagues ear telling her everything. Can you believe that? We are your clients who give a ton of money to the restaurant. In all of the events I have ever been to, I have never been treated like that… although “secretly” I did feel like a kindergartner and wanted to wave my place card in his face and tell him, “I’m supposed to be at table #10!!! Don’t hate me Sir!!!” But why? We all had a great time, met new friends, networked and every single person at the event switched tables we were the only ones that spoke up and admitted it. So why are we to blame? Because we admitted it? Told the truth? What happened to that lame statement, 'the truth is supposed to set you free?' Something is totally wrong about this situation. Oh, and just to prove my point here those that didn’t switch left the event before the main course. Wouldn't you feel more comfortable to meet people when you are with someone else you know (sitting down for 3+ hours!!)?

So as an event suggestion for your next gig, do not separate clients from their co-workers at different tables and assign seats where your client feels uncomfortable and alone when coming to 3 hour sit down meal. These are your clients; you should treat them to a superb evening so they want to bring more business your way! The better time they have, the more business you will gain. 3 hours is way too long and just creates plain awkwardness for a client appreciation event. Not only did they lose guests, but they may lose future business.

So if you are ever in this situation just remember Mommom’s saying and “Never be rude to the guest!”

Why do guys 'get off' so easy?

2008-07-31T09:44:00.000-07:00

Last night my friend Shannon and I were having our weekly Wednesday date night complete with wine while watching our fav summer show, “So You Think You Can Dance” and we started talking about why haircuts are so expensive, how much we pay for waxing and the new work clothes we “need” but don’t want to spend the money on (would much rather buy something more fun!).... and we couldn’t help but wonder why do guys get off so much easier than girls… now I’m not talking about what your dirty mind thinks I am – but why do we end up spending so much more money than guys? Why is being a guy so much easier than being a girl?

During my daily IM chats with my friend Kristan we both started thinking more and more about this topic and here’s what we came up with...

Our TOP 15 REASONS why guys get off so much easier than girls!

15. Gift Buying. Why is it that guys buy gifts only for their immediate family (or the girl in their life) while girls buy for anyone/everyone they've had a conversation with in the past year?

14. Shoes. I am convinced that guys only have 2 pairs of shoes. 1 pair for work and 1 pair of sneakers, yet girls have 2 for every outfit (of course as Kristan says, “it's because we have to mix it up a bit!!”).

13. Underwear. While we are spending $50 or more now a days on bras and $15 on underwear, these guys get away with $2.99 on a pair of boxers and that’s if they are even wearing any!!

12. Formal Attire. Excited to go to that wedding next month and looking for the perfect dress, shoes, bag etc and wondering how you are going to afford it all? Well, have you ever thought about guys – how do they get so lucky to get away with the SAME suit every time!! I mean if we girls wore the same dress every time we’d be laughed at! The only thing a guy “might” do is to mix it up his outfit is add on a new $20 tie when we’ve already spent $300! Not fair!

11. Gray Hair. When men have gray hair it’s looked as though they are “distinguished,” you know that Richard Gere look we all love – while girls… well, we’d just look plain “old.”

10. Mani/Pedi's. The most attention guys give to their hands and feet are the once a month nail clippings and that's only because you've threatened they are not allowed to touch you until they're cut while we spend the money and time perfecting our look! (They should too ps)

9. Toiletries. A guy has at most six items in his bathroom - a toothbrush, toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of Dial soap, and a towel from the last hotel he stayed in. The average number of items in a typical woman’s bathroom is 437!

8. Weight. If a guy gains a couple extra pounds, no big deal. Now God Forbid a girl does and it’s the talk of the town! And then on the flip side, why is it so much easier for a guy to loose weight??

7. Haircuts/Color. $300 vs $25… need I say more?

6. Hair in General. If guys don’t like the way their hair looks they throw on a baseball hat and look completely normal and somewhat cuter. Girls on the other hand, we are just outta luck!

5. Money. Girls spend so much money a month keeping up their appearances… makeup alone is a fortune! But what about tanning, hair, wax, manicures, new outfits – you name it… we probably spend an average of $400 more than men a month!

4. WAXING! The most pain guys have to endure while removing hair is the occasional knick on their face because they are too lazy to go buy a new razor while we are enduring the pain of wax!

3. Hormones. It’s uncontrollable – it takes us girls over! We can’t control it!! And just you wait for menopause…. Guys are so lucky that they have nothing that takes control of their bodies like that!

2. The 'monthly' visitor. (.)

1. Child birth. Not drinking for 9 months! Enough said!!

There are so many more reasons in which a guys life is so much easier than a girls. I didn’t even mention that guys have it so much easier when going to the bathroom – they don’t have to sit down and they can go anywhere (if they need to) or how about the fact that going topless is completely acceptable for these guys!

So I think the debate is settled.... Guys DO get off easier... Now the question is, what do you think?

(Thanks for your help Kristan, I won’t tell Mark!)

Check out Kristan's blog!!!

Carrie: "Men who are too good looking are never good in bed because they never had to be."

If it's FREE it's for ME!

2008-07-17T11:51:00.000-07:00

It’s just awful right now – whenever you turn on the tv, pick up a newspaper or check the news online, when they aren’t talking about Madonna & ARod they are talking about one thing….. INFLATION! From gas to food it’s all just enough to make your stomach turn and then you end up just sitting there biting your nails wondering what’s next, how are you going to survive? And more importantly, how you are still going to have the perfect summer on a tight budget? Below are some fun ideas to help save some cash and still have a guaranteed fabulous summer in NYC!

NYC just got a bit cheaper…

Broadway in Bryant Park - FREE!
When: Thursdays from 12:30-1:30pm
Where: Bryant Park

What better way to spend your lunch break than going to get sun in the park while enjoying the Broadway performers sing their hearts out! I just got back from going and I absolutely loved it! Today I saw "Mama Mia," “Avenue Q” and “In the Heights.” Don’t miss Aug 7th when “Spring Awakening” takes the stage!

Win the Lottery!
We all have dreams of winning the Power Ball Jackpot and for you theater lovers this could be your chance! Okay so this isn’t “free” but a $25 front row seat sure does beat the outrageous $120 Broadway tickets these days! Here’s what you do… start googling what Broadway shows have ticket lotteries or “rush” systems and arrive to the theater 2 hours prior to the performance. You will enter your name into the drawing and be eligible for 2 tickets per person, and you must pay cash. If your name is drawn then you will be sitting in the front row… what an experience. Some of the shows that offer the lottery are “Wicked,” “In the Heights,” “Hairspray,” “Avenue Q,” “Grease,” and “Rent” (Hurry! "Rent" ends in Sept!).

What is better than MACARONI & CHEESE??
Tired of spending so much money on food or dinners out? Do you have those cravings of the good ol’ comfort food like me and a serious passion for Mac & Cheese especially when it’s burnt and homemade? Try S’mac! Prices begin at $4.25 and to save even more $$... S’mac is introducing their Happy Hour! Every Monday through Thursday, from 3pm until 5pm, your entire bill will be discounted by 15%, as long as you spend a minimum of $10.00. Not sure what kind of mac to get?
Get some friends together and try the "S'Mac Sampler" for $16 which includes the All-American, 4 Cheese, Cheeseburger (my personal fav!), La Mancha, Cajun, Napoletana, Alpine, and Parisienne! So..... what are you waiting for?!

Happy Hour time!
Your insane day at work is finally over and you 'need' a drink! Sick of spending crazy prices on cocktails? Well now you don't have to be! Check out this website to find the best deals on a happy hour near you. You can find bars that offer 25 cents pitchers of Bud Light, perfect right? That’s a quite way to save some major $$$!

Let’s go to the movies - FREE!

Since when are movie tickets $10.50? And after a night at the movies and dinner you are up to $50! So, to save $$ why not go to Bryant Park to check out the summer film festival. It’s free! You could make this a date, pack a picnic and here's a helpful hint, disguise your wine in water bottles (yes, I have done that before and it worked perfectly!) but don't tell anyone I told you to do it!

Don’t miss Restaurant Week (July 21-25 & July 28 – Aug 1)

I absolutely love that NY offers this affordable way to dine out at the most amazing restaurants in the city for ½ the price. Make your reservations early as they all book quickly. Reservations can be made on opentable.com.

So you think you can dance?
If you are into this show as much as I am this summer and think you want to discover some new dance moves of your own check out “Midsummer Night Swing” at Lincoln Center. This only goes until July 26th so hurry! Each evening begins with a dance lesson at 6:30pm for dancers with all levels of experience and live music begins at 7:30pm. Tickets are $15 which includes the dance lesson!

The Infamous Bohemian Hall Beer Garden in Astoria
I couldn’t think of a more perfect way to spend a Saturday afternoon than sitting with your friends at the picnic tables and listening to all of the fun live bands, and of course perhaps some dancing! The trip to Queens is well worth it and the pitchers of beer are around $12! The Bohemian Hall is a part of New York City history and is the last original remaining Beer Garden in all NYC.

Ride the Beast!
Looking to do something a little more exciting with your out-of-towners than the typical ferry boat ride around the island? Look no further! Take that person on a NY experience that they will never forget…. The Beast. Travel NY harbor at 45mph on the thrilling speedboat! It's a roller coaster, a water ride and 30 fun-filled minutes of high-speed cruising all in one! Tickets start at $17.00.

Shakespeare in the Park - FREE!
I am so excited that “Hair” is coming! Tickets are usually a bit tricky, but if you are one of the lucky ones to snag a ticket, it’s definitely worth it! I am crossing my fingers for "Hair!"

If you are looking to treat yourself (a little)
Go immediately to Mario Badescu for the best facial in New York! Not only the best, but the most moderately priced. I’ve been to Exhale and others and no one compares to Mario! Only $65 for a facial! You can’t beat that in NY!

If the facial is too much, then try Athena's in Queens!

Nothing beats a manicure & pedicure for $23! Oh yeah and they give you a great massage! So, Athena's may be in Queens, but it's just steps from the 30th Ave stop on the N and W train. The wait can be long so call and book an appointment today (718) 278-4597 .

“Beatles” in Astoria Park - FREE!
An evening with all of our favorite songs from the Beatles, but that’s not the only concert (just the one at the top of my list). Pick the park closest to home and check the nycgovparks.org website to see what free events the park is offering each week. Movie nights & concerts can make for a really fun night!

I hope that some of these ideas will be useful when planning your summer on a budget! If you have suggestions for more fun ideas that don’t break the bank, please do share. Gotta LOVE New York, there's always something fun going on and it definitely can work with a tight budget!!

One last thing - a VERY important tip:
Before you book anything – ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS google the event, tour whatever you are doing to find discount codes – they exist you just have to find them!

Enjoy!!

Samantha: "I'm always surprised when anyone leaves New York. I mean, where do they go?"

WHY aren't you married?

2008-07-14T08:47:00.000-07:00

On Friday I was out of work early and went home to have lunch. My roommate is a huge Oprah fan and records everyday so I decided to catch up with the big O. Well, wouldn't you know that the show was called, "30 Somethings and Marriage." Really Oprah? On my summer Friday you decide to discuss this?? I obviously needed a beer. I was hoping for an amazing giveaway episode or something on the new movie, "Mama Mia!" Then it got me to thinking... when I was a little girl growing up in Indiana I always figured when I was 30 I would be married with 2 or 3 kids, living in a fabulous house in the Midwest with the infamous white picket fence, probably a teacher and of course I had the “perfect husband.”

So - I couldn't help but wonder.... when we are growing up why are we taught as kids that this is what we should strive for in life? Is everyone put on this planet to marry and have children? If you are in your late 20s and early 30s why are you "supposed" to be settled down and married? What happened to women and their careers and why is it wrong for women to be "single?" I’ll never forget when a high school friend called me to tell me about her engagement, I was so excited for her! But then came those 5 devil-ish words, “So, why aren’t you married?” Really? I am in the midst of congratulating you and the payback I receive is this annoying question, starting with “WHY.” What answer would you like to hear? Or should I just respond in a way that makes you feel like an idiot. How about…. “What and spoil a great sex life?” I bet this would make her feel a bit uncomfortable so she’d drop the subject!

Why do people never ask a male in their late 20s/early 30s that question? Why is the female always asked? And why is there so much pressure to be married? Is there a time frame in dating when you should be married? And is it acceptable "not" to get married and can you do it all on your own? Since when did doing it all on your own, the education, an amazing job, apt/house, be such a bad thing?

Is it because we all live for that “Cinderella” moment, the white picket fence and are eager at any chance we get? I still want those cosmo girl nights! I am sick and tired of people asking me "WHY?" "Why have you been dating the same guy for going on 6 years and not married?" "If I were in that situation I'd kill myself!" Really? You can't be serious, moron. My friend Jenny and I had the most fun conversation about this sharing hilarious stories from people asking us both the same question since we are in similar situations… We both wanted to say, “Stop. We are fabulous and love our lives.” I love every single part about it, perhaps one day I do want to get married, but why rush it? And why must I explain this to you?

Then there are those people that convince you that something is wrong in your life and that you “should” be married by now. You know, it's so easy to "tell" people what to do - but sometimes you just have to stop and “listen” to others (which isn’t as easy as telling people what to do), we are all pursuing different parts of our lives. Everyone moves at a different pace so you should never judge one another. Life is life (sounds so corny, but true) – live with no regrets - you have to go with the flow and trust your instincts.

So I guess the moral of the story is that expectations are changing. Be who you are as a person, value your true friendships, and be fabulous living a happy life moving at your own pace. Whether single or married it's pretty true that we all desire the same thing in the end, love. Love from your friends, your significant other, your children, your pets… yourself. Oprah said it perfectly when she was concluding the show, “Love the people most important to you and that will continue to be our connection to one another.”

Carrie: "Later that day I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you - you love, well, that's just fabulous."

Subway Etiquette 101

2008-07-09T11:08:00.000-07:00

Subway Etiquette 101

(This post is dedicated to Michelle....)

My friend once described how she gets through her daily subway experience perfectly when she said, "Julie, do what I do when the crowds are awful in the train and no one will move - it works for me everytime! Start singing in your head, Move B*tch get out of the way, get out of the way B*tch, get outta the way..." I couldn't stop laughing, but she's 100% right!

There's always a story to tell about your subway experience here in NY, but seriously let's discuss etiquette. After work yesterday I did my normal routine of going to the gym at Rockefeller Center and afterward was completely exhausted from my workout.... I ran to get on the train and there were only a couple seats left, I was so excited to get a seat (it's a huge accomplishment at rush hour). Of course the couple seats left were "occupied" by a woman's 1) purse and 2) shopping bags! What? Who does that? I kindly asked her to move her purse and she gave me all sorts of attitude! Really? Did her purse pay the $2 to get it's own seat on the train. Then the next woman walks on the train and asks this woman politely to move her shopping bags and she says "no, there's a seat open over there." Are you kidding me?!?!!

So it got me thinking, what are the rules of the subway?

New York Magazine published an interesting article announcing the "Rules of the Underground"

(1) Knees may be no more than six inches apart
(2) If you can't control your offspring, watch as a stranger does it for you
(3) What did we say about checking out the girls?

(4) The Post is only 25 cents—buy your own

(5) Holding the subway door makes everyone on the train love you

(6) As does loud music

(7) Lie down on subway only if dead.

So to add to this article, I have my own favorite subway characters to share that we've all experienced..... do you agree?

(1) THE POLE HUGGER

I think they failed to mention - STOP HUGGING THE SUBWAY POLES! When the trains are packed there is always that 1 person that hugs the pole so no one can grab on... I mean is he serious? And who wants all of those germs on you anyway. I love when they move for a second to switch songs of their ipod or reach for something and I sneak in and grab the pole with 2 hands just to let them know that is not okay to hog the freaking pole!! I don't get it - am I being too rough here?

(2) THE NOSEY NANCY

Okay so it's common knowledge that we as women check out other women - I mean my friend Susie and I talked about it and we dress up for other women, not for men... but why do you have to stare me up in down in the subway car, listen the sneakers only come on when I leave work because I have a long walk home, I swear! I don't really think white sneakers go with my black work pants, give me a break! Or what's with the people who look at your blackberry and try and read what you are texting, is my conversation debating with Kat about what's for dinner really that interesting to you? Are you serious? If you are going to go that far, please by all means share your ideas and recipes! Or how about reading the newspaper over your shoulder? Get your own!! 25 cents or better yet the Metro, it's free! Just take my advice people, close your eyes when riding on the train!

(3) THE CLASSIC JERK

So you are sitting on the train and you see a pregnant woman, elderly person or a small child get on - of course "most" peoples 1st instinct is to get right up and offer your seat to that person... Now what is with these (usually men, sorry) people who don't get up at all, or all of a sudden close their eyes and pretend they are asleep, you have got to be kidding me! Is there any decency left in this world? You are NOT sleeping!

(4) THE ALL IMPORTANT SECURITY GUARD OF THE CAR DOORS

You know when you walk into a department store and there's always a security guard standing at the door? Well, why do people take it upon themselves to "guard" the subway doors too? And to make matters worse when the doors open to let new passengers on, they never move, really Sir? Move to the middle!!! I don't get that... why is everyone so scared of the middle?!!

(5) THE MUSHY COUPLE

Save it for the bedroom!!! Why, why, why must people be all "mush" (as my friend big t would say) on the train!! There is a time and a place and it is NOT and I repeat NOT during my morning commute. Stop it with the kissing and wondering hands, no one wants to see it! Vomit! I just really don't understand why that is okay! I'm getting sick thinking of this... moving on.

(6) THE GROOMER

Last week I heard that ever so familiar sound of clipping - that annoying sound - clip, clip, clip - I 1st cringed and then looked around confused at what it was because of course no one would sink so low to actually clip their nails on the train, but oh wait! It was true... some woman was clipping away and nails were flying everywhere... then she had the nerve to start the filing. Why? Manicures are $6 in Queens - please take my money and go to get your nails done, it will save us all the pain of flying nails and that awful sound. Ps - Your nails look sick anyway, it's not helping.

(7) THE SHORTY 140 WINKER

Why? Why do short guys always think that they can get the short women? I had a case of the "Shorty 140 syndrome" in Dallas and now it's happening on the train. The classic wink, the sick thing they do with their lips, the look up and down - Gross! You have absolutely NO chance sir. Why?! Why do some guys think that giving those looks and licking those lips on a subway car will make us women drop to our knees and say, "YES! Yes! Prince Charming has arrived!! Thank you Jesus!" What a story to tell your kids on how you met there father. Ick! Again, no chance Sir so stop with your gross ways!!

Awww... there are so many "pleasant" people you experience on the subway every morning - these are just some of my personal experiences... there's always the slow mover that figures they'll get their card out when they reach the turnstile and slow everyone else up, the smelly people that grab onto the pole above you, the person that figures it's okay to sing along to their ipods out loud, the people that talk on their cell phones obnoxiously, but I guess that's what makes for some pretty great stories. I think I've perfected the "evil eye" that I give to these folks and thanks to my friend, I've moved a lot faster in the train by that simple song, "Move B*tch get out of the way...."

So the question is to you - do you have any good subway experiences and/or characters to share? Can't wait to hear!!

Perhaps I should have taken Miranda's advice:
Miranda : I had to walk all the way from the subway in these heels. My feet are killing me.

Steve : Why didn't you just carry them and wear sneakers like everyone else?

Miranda : Stop. You can take me out of Manhattan but you can't take me out of my shoes.

It's about time!!

2008-07-09T08:18:00.000-07:00

It was 5 years ago................

Since I graduated from College. Eek! That was a scary thing to type! But now I am in New York and absolutely loving it - but it hasn't been the easiest journey so I decided it's time to enter this crazy world of blogging - why not? This should be interesting (bare with me!)...

When I left Cincinnati I had the car, great apartment with pool, dishwasher, washer/dryer, porch - had everything that I thought you were supposed to have or really took for granted... then I moved to NY and what a shock! You mean jobs aren't just handed out to you with your diploma? You mean your parents don't always support you? You have to pay doctor bills, those visits aren't free? I have to push a cart to the laundry mat??? Oh and I need to walk to transportation!! What?? Needless to say, I was scared!!

Life after college in NYC..........

After college most of my friends stayed in Cincinnati, went home to Indy or made the move to Chicago - while I love those cities I knew it wasn't for me... I needed something more - I needed more of an adventure... I wanted to pursue other dreams and other career paths different from the everyday teachers and nurses... but I don't think I realized exactly what I was in for...

I remember when I 1st moved to this crazy city with just a suitcase in hand, staying at Kat & Chris', while being extremely stylish in the black (as Michelle likes to call them) "baggy butt pants." (sorry for saying the "b" word mom!)... Yep, I remember like it was yesterday, getting off of the train on 5th avenue making the 10 block walk to my 1st job in the big apple as a Personal Shopper.... Now you’re probably thinking to yourself, "How much fun a Personal Shopper on 5th Avenue??? So she must have worked somewhere FABulous like Saks, Bergdorfs…" nope! It was American Girl Place!

I was incredibly confident as I walked down 5th Avenue, loving life and couldn't wait to get started! I couldn't wait to get my "office," my "phone," and my "computer..." NOPE again! That's not how it works out at all - we were sharing, what? Oh, and then the kids with the bigger than life diamond earrings and real Gucci bags demanding that their "Personal Shopper" carry their dolls. REALLY? Is this what a private school in Indiana and 4 years at Xavier got me? You have got to be kidding me!

Or I guess the question is, am I just kidding myself because I feel like I should be 'entitled' to something different - what happened to what our parents always used to say - that you have to work from the bottom up, why do we now think we can skip the bottom part?

Luckily it was at AGP where I met 2 of my very close friends, Michelle & Michelle aka "Sertz." The moment we knew we were destined to be life-long friends was when our manager taped "Sex and the City" at home on her VHS and brought it to work asking if anyone missed last nights episode and none of us had cable so we would fight over who borrowed it 1st. I was so thankful to FINALLY meet friends in this intimidating city! I knew our friendships were fate from one simple fact, our love for SATC. From our SATC ring tones to themed b-day parties, the cosmo girl nights, you name it we did it- it was an obsession. One night someone even yelled out their car window when we were walking in Times Square, “Hey SATC Girls!” We loved ourselves! I love NY!

I think Miranda & Carrie said it best:
Miranda: Why do I think living in Manhattan is so fantastic?
Carrie: Because it is.

It was as my mom says, "while I was working my way up in the world" that I learned the biggest lessons. I wouldn't trade the experience for anything. My new friends taught me how to get rid of my midwest ways (for the time being of course) and start acting like a true New Yorker. (Whether that meant pretending I was busy organizing my files while in fact reading US Weekly or not, ha!) We dealt with so many issues at AGP from a crazy Staten Island woman threatening Michelle's life over a stupid doll in which I had to call security (red shopping bags please!), "Annie" double booking a huge group of kids and moms and Michelle & I dealing with the problem the best that we could which included running to Friday's across the street begging and pleading our case for them to help us (damn Annie!) taking over tons of doll high chairs to create the AGP experience there, learning how to deal with all different walks of life, filling in when we were needed and not asking why we had to, just helping. You meet the little girls that have all of the money in the world and buy-out the store and the little girl who had been saving her allowance for 2 years to get that 1st doll and pays you all in quarters or the little girls who's last wish is to come and experience the store and you are the lucky person to spend the special day with her... the stories speak for themselves. All of these experiences definitely created life long lessons that I will always carry with me forever.

During my last months at AGP I was working 2 jobs, 7 days a week, about 70 hours+. My 2nd job was as an intern at Marsh in their Events dept and finally by June of 2005 began full time as an event planner. All of the hard work and tough times finally paid off and now I am traveling all over the world planning events. So I guess it is true... those smaller jobs that help you get to where you want to be.

So I think the moral of the story is - stick it out through the tough times and stay positive, surround yourself with amazing friends (like my IM buddies Kristan & Susie!!) and as long as you are trying the hardest you possibly can every second of the day to accomplish your dreams, you will! Have the courage and determination to succeed and to be the person you are meant to be.

"It’s a funny thing about life: if you refuse to accept anything but the very best, you will often get it."

So that's a little bit about the past 5 years of my life - now we'll see what's up next!

Carrie: "When I first moved to NY and I was totally broke, sometimes I would buy Vogue instead of dinner. I just felt it fed me more."